For the next week he did nothing but thinking about Big Pat's words...
Finally, he decided to follow his wise friend's senile grandma's advice...(and the Pet Shop Boys)...and told Smitty and Will his plan to...get himself a West End Girl!!!!...
Next friday, they just filled their pockets with money and-of course- lots of balloons for the party...! ....and walked through the suburbs...
The guys wanted some heavy action...so, by the time they arrived there...they didn't think much and looked for the first red light on the street, knocked and got in..for as much action as their weekly paycheck could get them.
"The new guy" was just laughing at them, but not really participating..it was funny..now that he was there, with enough money to get a nice ride and a fully loaded gun in his pants.. haha....he just lost the impulse for going for it...
It's just that..all the girls there were like all the girls he had met before...just tramps...some pretty, some not so pretty, some fun to be with...others very skilled in the arts of making a man go "whoooa!"... but none of them had that "something else" he was looking for.
So, he sat down in a little seventies livingroom, next to an old jukebox...and played some music while the boys were getting some.
He spent all of his money in that jukebox..'til he just fell asleep in the couch.
In between dreams he heard something...but thought it was part of a dream...felt a kiss on the cheeck...tried to open his eyes...and saw 3 beautiful girls laughing at him and then running through the corridor.
Was it a dream?
Suddenly hee felt this blanket covering his body and thought..."West End Girls aren't that bad after all".
They were all gone by the time he was awakened by his friends... and this old big breasted redhead with all her make up messed up...
"My name is Martha- she said-...and why are you wearing all of my daughters' clothes, honey?
Suggested soundtrack: Irresponsables by Babasónicos.
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Chapter Eight:Senile Grandmas are Wise.
Few weeks had passed and "the new guy" was doing pretty well in his new job.
He wasn't making THAT MUCH money, but was able to save most of it...no reasons to spend it.
Got a few friends already: there was Bob, Will, Smitty and Big Pat. They used to hang out together after work... but "the new guy" had remained uninterested 'til that evening...it was a friday. For the first time since he got to England, he decided to spend the night out with the boys..leaving "Missy No" (his banjo) inside her new leather case.
They went to this irish pub full of redheads and people with this strooooooong accent you couldn't get shit of whatever they were saying...but they were friendly, though...
Bob and Smitty were pretty drunk already...Big Pat-who was not so smart,..usually mute... but damn good hearted- got crashed by the Ray of Jehova and was speaking words of wisdom to "the new guy"...
Hey, "new guy"...ya' know what are we all here for?"- he said.
"Cheap beer?????"- he answered.
"Noooooo... I mean- Big Pat insisted- I mean...really...I mean in an existencial way... like fate and shit.."
"The new guy" grabbed a brand new bottle of dark irish beer, took a deep breath, looked at the ceilling and said:"Well, I haven't told anyone this...but I came here by accident...so I don't
really know what I'm here for".
I will tell you something my old senile grandma used to say ( if that's of
any help! ): "Get a horse...get the girl...find a way...and hit the road!!!!"
"Hmmm.. sorry pal... don't even have the horse...and it's been ages since I last had a thaaang with a girl...don't know which way to go...I'm just an urban cowboy without a purpose...I only have my banjo...the moon and a little star in my window at night."
"Well- Big Pat said- that's a pretty good start!!!"
Suggested soundtrack: Stevie Ray Vaughn's Cold Shot.
He wasn't making THAT MUCH money, but was able to save most of it...no reasons to spend it.
Got a few friends already: there was Bob, Will, Smitty and Big Pat. They used to hang out together after work... but "the new guy" had remained uninterested 'til that evening...it was a friday. For the first time since he got to England, he decided to spend the night out with the boys..leaving "Missy No" (his banjo) inside her new leather case.
They went to this irish pub full of redheads and people with this strooooooong accent you couldn't get shit of whatever they were saying...but they were friendly, though...
Bob and Smitty were pretty drunk already...Big Pat-who was not so smart,..usually mute... but damn good hearted- got crashed by the Ray of Jehova and was speaking words of wisdom to "the new guy"...
Hey, "new guy"...ya' know what are we all here for?"- he said.
"Cheap beer?????"- he answered.
"Noooooo... I mean- Big Pat insisted- I mean...really...I mean in an existencial way... like fate and shit.."
"The new guy" grabbed a brand new bottle of dark irish beer, took a deep breath, looked at the ceilling and said:"Well, I haven't told anyone this...but I came here by accident...so I don't
really know what I'm here for".
I will tell you something my old senile grandma used to say ( if that's of
any help! ): "Get a horse...get the girl...find a way...and hit the road!!!!"
"Hmmm.. sorry pal... don't even have the horse...and it's been ages since I last had a thaaang with a girl...don't know which way to go...I'm just an urban cowboy without a purpose...I only have my banjo...the moon and a little star in my window at night."
"Well- Big Pat said- that's a pretty good start!!!"
Suggested soundtrack: Stevie Ray Vaughn's Cold Shot.
Chapter Seven: Been there, done that...
....what to do when you don't know where you are?...where to run?...what to choose?...
One can be so helpless...and hopeless...in the middle of an unknown city.
It's like being born at age 30, or speaking japanese in the middle of antartica...or not.
He didn't know where to go...so he just followed his feet..he walked in a straight line...for hours and hours..til there was no land...just water!!!!...and this....strooooooooong smell...a fishmarket by the river:fish and chips...and fishless chips... and chipless fish and homeless people.
"if I were a blind lesbian- he thought-I'd probably think this was the gate of heaven!!!!." hahahahahahaha...or if I were the father of Positivism....this could just be the perfect picture of "living in the gutter"...
But this was to him...the smell of...possibility...of... starting a new life in a new place and meeting new people...So he ran into the first guy he saw...and asked for a job.
He became,- twenty three minutes later- the fishmarket's fisherman's fishing assistant and was known from that very moment on as "the new guy".
He spent the first 48 hours catching fish- just like an american football player- And got a brand new record: 25 feet fish catch without dropping a live and slippery salmon...and also became the second best crab fighter in town...
"The new guy" has a future-his boss said later on...and gave him a little room at the fishmarket's fisherman's fishing place... a tiny little attic room, with a window so small..there was just enough space for the moon and a little star.
Suggested soundtrack: Yoko Kano's "Felt Tip Pen"
One can be so helpless...and hopeless...in the middle of an unknown city.
It's like being born at age 30, or speaking japanese in the middle of antartica...or not.
He didn't know where to go...so he just followed his feet..he walked in a straight line...for hours and hours..til there was no land...just water!!!!...and this....strooooooooong smell...a fishmarket by the river:fish and chips...and fishless chips... and chipless fish and homeless people.
"if I were a blind lesbian- he thought-I'd probably think this was the gate of heaven!!!!." hahahahahahaha...or if I were the father of Positivism....this could just be the perfect picture of "living in the gutter"...
But this was to him...the smell of...possibility...of... starting a new life in a new place and meeting new people...So he ran into the first guy he saw...and asked for a job.
He became,- twenty three minutes later- the fishmarket's fisherman's fishing assistant and was known from that very moment on as "the new guy".
He spent the first 48 hours catching fish- just like an american football player- And got a brand new record: 25 feet fish catch without dropping a live and slippery salmon...and also became the second best crab fighter in town...
"The new guy" has a future-his boss said later on...and gave him a little room at the fishmarket's fisherman's fishing place... a tiny little attic room, with a window so small..there was just enough space for the moon and a little star.
Suggested soundtrack: Yoko Kano's "Felt Tip Pen"
Friday, 14 May 2010
Chapter Six: Run, Baby, Run.
" I was taking off her clothes...at last. Her skin was full of brown
constellations...I could become an astronaut and kiss each and every single
birthmark...
....hmmmm...that skin parade just made me feel so...excited.
"...just wanted to become one...to be as closer as I could... but something
was wrong... my body wasn't reacting in the right way...I looked all the way
down and thought...
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"...
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"...- I heard an echo....a non familiar voice was
just repeating my words louder!!!!!
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!""Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"
...when I opened up my eyes...there was this Dick headed cop from
from London...just telling me I could leave jail at that very moment. Phew!!!!!
"Thank God that was just a dream!!!!!" hahahahahaha....I was just
questioning if I was no longer a "manly man"!!!!!
As he walked out of jail he felt relieved but at the same time...he had
nowhere to go, so...
Suggested soundtrack: Tom Petty's Into the great wide open.
constellations...I could become an astronaut and kiss each and every single
birthmark...
....hmmmm...that skin parade just made me feel so...excited.
"...just wanted to become one...to be as closer as I could... but something
was wrong... my body wasn't reacting in the right way...I looked all the way
down and thought...
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"...
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"...- I heard an echo....a non familiar voice was
just repeating my words louder!!!!!
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!""Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"
...when I opened up my eyes...there was this Dick headed cop from
from London...just telling me I could leave jail at that very moment. Phew!!!!!
"Thank God that was just a dream!!!!!" hahahahahaha....I was just
questioning if I was no longer a "manly man"!!!!!
As he walked out of jail he felt relieved but at the same time...he had
nowhere to go, so...
Suggested soundtrack: Tom Petty's Into the great wide open.
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Chapter Five: Jail makes you a deeper thinker.
"...I was there alone...no lights inside...just the sound of sirens from
time to time...and the moon showing through the stripes in the pattern of
çthe cell window...never felt so alone...a stranger in a strange land.
"..why am I thinking about how's my mom doing right now???" - he said to
himself.
"..we think so much when we're alone...so much time...no chance to cheat on
ourselves...just time and a mirror showing the naked soul...what we're
really made of...our fears...limitations...the past we carry...and our silly
hopes."
"I wish I had someone to talk to...hate being with myself...alone. Hate
overthinking things. Like to keep it simple..but can't sleep now...time's
going so slow...wish I were with a nice girl...better..wish I were with THE
GIRL...think never been even closer to that...wish I could look into those
pretty eyes for hours...and get my fingers trapped in her curls...in
silence. No words,... just the peaceful thought of knowing there's no better
place than her."
"...but shit...no...I'm just here...alone in a cell..."
Suggested soundtrack: Elvis singing " are you lonesome tonight? ".
time to time...and the moon showing through the stripes in the pattern of
çthe cell window...never felt so alone...a stranger in a strange land.
"..why am I thinking about how's my mom doing right now???" - he said to
himself.
"..we think so much when we're alone...so much time...no chance to cheat on
ourselves...just time and a mirror showing the naked soul...what we're
really made of...our fears...limitations...the past we carry...and our silly
hopes."
"I wish I had someone to talk to...hate being with myself...alone. Hate
overthinking things. Like to keep it simple..but can't sleep now...time's
going so slow...wish I were with a nice girl...better..wish I were with THE
GIRL...think never been even closer to that...wish I could look into those
pretty eyes for hours...and get my fingers trapped in her curls...in
silence. No words,... just the peaceful thought of knowing there's no better
place than her."
"...but shit...no...I'm just here...alone in a cell..."
Suggested soundtrack: Elvis singing " are you lonesome tonight? ".
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
Chapter Four: Keep off the grass, Sir!
...."i was having a nightmare... i think i'm not myself anymore...
this ain't me...i think i was flying...going straight to limbo..."
...."So I heard birds speaking english with an accent...couldn't get their
sense of humour... ha!...they thought they were any
funny...hahahahahahaha... but why i'm I understanding 'em in the first
place?????????????... hmmm...there's something in front of ma' eyes...it's
green grass and tons of narcissus...and daffodils...where I'm I????"...
...."it all felt like a nightmare came true...like a neverending hangover..."
The streets were full of suits and ties...and the air smelled like fish and
chips...people werw driving wrong ways in black cars...everything was sooooooo
gray, but the green grass and the daffodils...
And then here comes this guy with a hat in the shape of a... member...and
says..."excuse me Sirrrrrrrrrr... you would have to come with me, for it is
prohibited to sleep on the grass...quite unelegant for a
gentleman...indeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed..."
So, England is a garden...and he felt just like a cactus...out of place,
rootless.
Suggested soundtrack: Yoko Kano's Digging my potato
this ain't me...i think i was flying...going straight to limbo..."
...."So I heard birds speaking english with an accent...couldn't get their
sense of humour... ha!...they thought they were any
funny...hahahahahahaha... but why i'm I understanding 'em in the first
place?????????????... hmmm...there's something in front of ma' eyes...it's
green grass and tons of narcissus...and daffodils...where I'm I????"...
...."it all felt like a nightmare came true...like a neverending hangover..."
The streets were full of suits and ties...and the air smelled like fish and
chips...people werw driving wrong ways in black cars...everything was sooooooo
gray, but the green grass and the daffodils...
And then here comes this guy with a hat in the shape of a... member...and
says..."excuse me Sirrrrrrrrrr... you would have to come with me, for it is
prohibited to sleep on the grass...quite unelegant for a
gentleman...indeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed..."
So, England is a garden...and he felt just like a cactus...out of place,
rootless.
Suggested soundtrack: Yoko Kano's Digging my potato
Monday, 10 May 2010
Chapter Three: I think this is not Kansas anymore, Toto!
...several hours passed by... the sun came down...
"wish I'd had a burrito for lunch before leaving that #$%$^%^ town"- he said to himself...
still... he kept walking...no energy...his eyes were closing...couldn't be more tired...
ideas started to make no sense..he was just soooooooooooo fucking tired...and then...
he saw something in the horizon..."i'm hallucinating"- he thought...
there was this huge cloud coming his way...it was a vertical wave of warm air and dust...so much dust...his eyes were not able to see anymore...
and suddenly, he felt the floor was gone...he was flying...drowsy...tired...blind...unconcious...
so he closed his eyes and then...
suggested soundtrack: Valle de Valium by Babasónicos.
"wish I'd had a burrito for lunch before leaving that #$%$^%^ town"- he said to himself...
still... he kept walking...no energy...his eyes were closing...couldn't be more tired...
ideas started to make no sense..he was just soooooooooooo fucking tired...and then...
he saw something in the horizon..."i'm hallucinating"- he thought...
there was this huge cloud coming his way...it was a vertical wave of warm air and dust...so much dust...his eyes were not able to see anymore...
and suddenly, he felt the floor was gone...he was flying...drowsy...tired...blind...unconcious...
so he closed his eyes and then...
suggested soundtrack: Valle de Valium by Babasónicos.
Chapter Two: Exit..Stage left...!
...so, he decided to leave the place a soon as possible.
Nothing happened to him or to his one true love "missy no", a gold painted banjo his uncle Matty
gave him for birthday.
...ten minutes later the town was behind and nothing was coming his way,
but a rolling bush who was jogging that afternoon...
Salt got in his eye and mouth. Everything was so dry but his heart...he was just seeing water in the
horizon... but no... he was alone.
Suggested soundtrack: Yoko Kano's Spokey Dokey.
Nothing happened to him or to his one true love "missy no", a gold painted banjo his uncle Matty
gave him for birthday.
...ten minutes later the town was behind and nothing was coming his way,
but a rolling bush who was jogging that afternoon...
Salt got in his eye and mouth. Everything was so dry but his heart...he was just seeing water in the
horizon... but no... he was alone.
Suggested soundtrack: Yoko Kano's Spokey Dokey.
Chapter One: It all started at a Mexican Cantina
...He just stopped for a drink... just a miserable Corona and that's it...what a shame...
at that very moment the local waterpolo team was just starting a fight...lack of water in the middle of Arizona...you know how waterpolo players get...once they're dry...
and then the furniture started flying over heads...and many bottles were crashed...
Suggested soundtrack : "Pendejo" by Babasónicos.
at that very moment the local waterpolo team was just starting a fight...lack of water in the middle of Arizona...you know how waterpolo players get...once they're dry...
and then the furniture started flying over heads...and many bottles were crashed...
Suggested soundtrack : "Pendejo" by Babasónicos.
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