....the next morning he was found asleep at his neighbour's door...
....his name was Ricardo... and he was from Ecuador...he had a band: "The Killer Tomatoes" He was a nice guy... a bit weird...He had one of these hairstyles...only bald guys dare to have...long hair one side of the head...wrapped around it like a string cheese from Oaxaca...as if it could really make baldness less obvious...
He told "the new guy" he could jam with 'em if he felt like it... never had a banjo in the band before...!
So he started jamin' once a week... tuesdays... then it was tuesdays and fridays... then saturdays as well.
"The new guy" felt his life wasn't meaningless anymore...he had a brand new
passion...and people to share it with...
"Why not becoming a musician?"- he thought..."so many assholes don't even sing their own songs... or with their true voice... and still make a lotta money!!... why wouldn't I??????"
And,...The Killer Tomatoes were pretty cool...and from all over the world.
They didn't even understand each other...Ricardo spoke spanish... and there was this japanese pervert...( well, most japanese are pervs...guess he was pretty normal back home ) playing the piano... and a redhead guy from Dublin...who was a great fan of the Lord of the Dance... and this 2 meter high guy from Jamaica...who's accent was so strong he had to speak captioned all time...or bring someone to translate...Then the italian singer...Enzo... and this 16 year old brat who was a great fan of Barry Manilow...and Sepultura.
Their sound was so great!!!!!....he just felt soooo alive and good inside everytime they played together!!!...and as time passed by... they got better and better...and went out for a gig one night...back to west end.
He was a bit nervious that night... but got on stage anyway...and just played...
Gradually the nerves became endorphines.... and he started having a great time... until he saw... at the back of the room...the reflection of a spotlight on this beautiful redheaded girl's head...and this girl was...THAT girl...THE GIRL!!!
...and suddenly he forgot what he was playing...and broke a string...then hurt left hand... then dropped banjo... then hurt a foot...and then...the Killer Tomatoes got attacked by real tomatoes... and fish and chips...and gravy... and chairs... and bottles... and some naked
grouppies eager for wild sex...as well...
Suggested soundtrack: Me cago en el amor by Tonino Carotone
Saturday 12 June 2010
Chapter Eleven: God created them...and they played!
....it happened one night...
"the new guy" was sleeping after a long day at the F.F. P. ( Fishmarket's
Fishing Place)...suddenly he was back in Arizona....walking in a straight line across the
desert...competing with a rolling bush...speed contest...the bush was
faster!!!!...damn!!!!
...then he saw a silhouette in the horizon...coming his way...five men dressed up in black and silver...with their black sombreros and guitars...a Mariachi band...once they made eye contact... they just stopped walking...took their instruments out of the case...and started performing... just because!!!!!!!...
"These crazy mexicans!!!!- he thought- they love nonsenses and "just becauses"...
So he looked for his girl.."Missy No"...but she wasn't there!!!!! God!!!!!!
He wanted to join them sooooooo badly!!!!....and couldn't sing in spanish.... damn!!!!!.... so..he decided...dumbly..to clap his hands as a sign of empathy... clap...clap...clap......clap...the guitars sounded great..... clap clap clap.... and this skinny guy just started playing a trumpet... clap clap clap.... and there were two violins.... clap clap
clap....the voice was so powerful....loud!!!!.... clap clap clap... he was sooooo happy.... clap clap clap....a trumpet solo... so loud.... clap clap clap...hey!!!!....actually he could hear it so clear....but... what was he doing back in Arizona?....wasn't he living in London??????...
damn!!!!...clap clap clap... was that wonderful thing just a dream????....clap clap clap...but he could hear them...clap clap clap.....so vividly....clap clap clap....
...and suddenly he woke up....clap clap clap.... actually clapping!!!!!!....haha clap clap clap... and there was a band performing...right next door.... clap clap clap...a 3 am jam....clap clap clap.... the guitar started playing again....clap clap clap... and then the trumpet.... clap clap clap.....
" I think I should stop clapping now- he though- my readers could question my IQ if I go on clapping like this!!!"... :P
So he just woke up in his silly cowboy's jammies... put on boots and hat...and went out to find out the truth...
It was on the second floor- He didn't want to knock... so he just placed his ear next to the door... and heard something like this...
Suggested soundtrack: Mala Vida by Mano Negra.
"the new guy" was sleeping after a long day at the F.F. P. ( Fishmarket's
Fishing Place)...suddenly he was back in Arizona....walking in a straight line across the
desert...competing with a rolling bush...speed contest...the bush was
faster!!!!...damn!!!!
...then he saw a silhouette in the horizon...coming his way...five men dressed up in black and silver...with their black sombreros and guitars...a Mariachi band...once they made eye contact... they just stopped walking...took their instruments out of the case...and started performing... just because!!!!!!!...
"These crazy mexicans!!!!- he thought- they love nonsenses and "just becauses"...
So he looked for his girl.."Missy No"...but she wasn't there!!!!! God!!!!!!
He wanted to join them sooooooo badly!!!!....and couldn't sing in spanish.... damn!!!!!.... so..he decided...dumbly..to clap his hands as a sign of empathy... clap...clap...clap......clap...the guitars sounded great..... clap clap clap.... and this skinny guy just started playing a trumpet... clap clap clap.... and there were two violins.... clap clap
clap....the voice was so powerful....loud!!!!.... clap clap clap... he was sooooo happy.... clap clap clap....a trumpet solo... so loud.... clap clap clap...hey!!!!....actually he could hear it so clear....but... what was he doing back in Arizona?....wasn't he living in London??????...
damn!!!!...clap clap clap... was that wonderful thing just a dream????....clap clap clap...but he could hear them...clap clap clap.....so vividly....clap clap clap....
...and suddenly he woke up....clap clap clap.... actually clapping!!!!!!....haha clap clap clap... and there was a band performing...right next door.... clap clap clap...a 3 am jam....clap clap clap.... the guitar started playing again....clap clap clap... and then the trumpet.... clap clap clap.....
" I think I should stop clapping now- he though- my readers could question my IQ if I go on clapping like this!!!"... :P
So he just woke up in his silly cowboy's jammies... put on boots and hat...and went out to find out the truth...
It was on the second floor- He didn't want to knock... so he just placed his ear next to the door... and heard something like this...
Suggested soundtrack: Mala Vida by Mano Negra.
Sunday 16 May 2010
Chapter Nine:You dont have to put on the red light
For the next week he did nothing but thinking about Big Pat's words...
Finally, he decided to follow his wise friend's senile grandma's advice...(and the Pet Shop Boys)...and told Smitty and Will his plan to...get himself a West End Girl!!!!...
Next friday, they just filled their pockets with money and-of course- lots of balloons for the party...! ....and walked through the suburbs...
The guys wanted some heavy action...so, by the time they arrived there...they didn't think much and looked for the first red light on the street, knocked and got in..for as much action as their weekly paycheck could get them.
"The new guy" was just laughing at them, but not really participating..it was funny..now that he was there, with enough money to get a nice ride and a fully loaded gun in his pants.. haha....he just lost the impulse for going for it...
It's just that..all the girls there were like all the girls he had met before...just tramps...some pretty, some not so pretty, some fun to be with...others very skilled in the arts of making a man go "whoooa!"... but none of them had that "something else" he was looking for.
So, he sat down in a little seventies livingroom, next to an old jukebox...and played some music while the boys were getting some.
He spent all of his money in that jukebox..'til he just fell asleep in the couch.
In between dreams he heard something...but thought it was part of a dream...felt a kiss on the cheeck...tried to open his eyes...and saw 3 beautiful girls laughing at him and then running through the corridor.
Was it a dream?
Suddenly hee felt this blanket covering his body and thought..."West End Girls aren't that bad after all".
They were all gone by the time he was awakened by his friends... and this old big breasted redhead with all her make up messed up...
"My name is Martha- she said-...and why are you wearing all of my daughters' clothes, honey?
Suggested soundtrack: Irresponsables by Babasónicos.
Finally, he decided to follow his wise friend's senile grandma's advice...(and the Pet Shop Boys)...and told Smitty and Will his plan to...get himself a West End Girl!!!!...
Next friday, they just filled their pockets with money and-of course- lots of balloons for the party...! ....and walked through the suburbs...
The guys wanted some heavy action...so, by the time they arrived there...they didn't think much and looked for the first red light on the street, knocked and got in..for as much action as their weekly paycheck could get them.
"The new guy" was just laughing at them, but not really participating..it was funny..now that he was there, with enough money to get a nice ride and a fully loaded gun in his pants.. haha....he just lost the impulse for going for it...
It's just that..all the girls there were like all the girls he had met before...just tramps...some pretty, some not so pretty, some fun to be with...others very skilled in the arts of making a man go "whoooa!"... but none of them had that "something else" he was looking for.
So, he sat down in a little seventies livingroom, next to an old jukebox...and played some music while the boys were getting some.
He spent all of his money in that jukebox..'til he just fell asleep in the couch.
In between dreams he heard something...but thought it was part of a dream...felt a kiss on the cheeck...tried to open his eyes...and saw 3 beautiful girls laughing at him and then running through the corridor.
Was it a dream?
Suddenly hee felt this blanket covering his body and thought..."West End Girls aren't that bad after all".
They were all gone by the time he was awakened by his friends... and this old big breasted redhead with all her make up messed up...
"My name is Martha- she said-...and why are you wearing all of my daughters' clothes, honey?
Suggested soundtrack: Irresponsables by Babasónicos.
Saturday 15 May 2010
Chapter Eight:Senile Grandmas are Wise.
Few weeks had passed and "the new guy" was doing pretty well in his new job.
He wasn't making THAT MUCH money, but was able to save most of it...no reasons to spend it.
Got a few friends already: there was Bob, Will, Smitty and Big Pat. They used to hang out together after work... but "the new guy" had remained uninterested 'til that evening...it was a friday. For the first time since he got to England, he decided to spend the night out with the boys..leaving "Missy No" (his banjo) inside her new leather case.
They went to this irish pub full of redheads and people with this strooooooong accent you couldn't get shit of whatever they were saying...but they were friendly, though...
Bob and Smitty were pretty drunk already...Big Pat-who was not so smart,..usually mute... but damn good hearted- got crashed by the Ray of Jehova and was speaking words of wisdom to "the new guy"...
Hey, "new guy"...ya' know what are we all here for?"- he said.
"Cheap beer?????"- he answered.
"Noooooo... I mean- Big Pat insisted- I mean...really...I mean in an existencial way... like fate and shit.."
"The new guy" grabbed a brand new bottle of dark irish beer, took a deep breath, looked at the ceilling and said:"Well, I haven't told anyone this...but I came here by accident...so I don't
really know what I'm here for".
I will tell you something my old senile grandma used to say ( if that's of
any help! ): "Get a horse...get the girl...find a way...and hit the road!!!!"
"Hmmm.. sorry pal... don't even have the horse...and it's been ages since I last had a thaaang with a girl...don't know which way to go...I'm just an urban cowboy without a purpose...I only have my banjo...the moon and a little star in my window at night."
"Well- Big Pat said- that's a pretty good start!!!"
Suggested soundtrack: Stevie Ray Vaughn's Cold Shot.
He wasn't making THAT MUCH money, but was able to save most of it...no reasons to spend it.
Got a few friends already: there was Bob, Will, Smitty and Big Pat. They used to hang out together after work... but "the new guy" had remained uninterested 'til that evening...it was a friday. For the first time since he got to England, he decided to spend the night out with the boys..leaving "Missy No" (his banjo) inside her new leather case.
They went to this irish pub full of redheads and people with this strooooooong accent you couldn't get shit of whatever they were saying...but they were friendly, though...
Bob and Smitty were pretty drunk already...Big Pat-who was not so smart,..usually mute... but damn good hearted- got crashed by the Ray of Jehova and was speaking words of wisdom to "the new guy"...
Hey, "new guy"...ya' know what are we all here for?"- he said.
"Cheap beer?????"- he answered.
"Noooooo... I mean- Big Pat insisted- I mean...really...I mean in an existencial way... like fate and shit.."
"The new guy" grabbed a brand new bottle of dark irish beer, took a deep breath, looked at the ceilling and said:"Well, I haven't told anyone this...but I came here by accident...so I don't
really know what I'm here for".
I will tell you something my old senile grandma used to say ( if that's of
any help! ): "Get a horse...get the girl...find a way...and hit the road!!!!"
"Hmmm.. sorry pal... don't even have the horse...and it's been ages since I last had a thaaang with a girl...don't know which way to go...I'm just an urban cowboy without a purpose...I only have my banjo...the moon and a little star in my window at night."
"Well- Big Pat said- that's a pretty good start!!!"
Suggested soundtrack: Stevie Ray Vaughn's Cold Shot.
Chapter Seven: Been there, done that...
....what to do when you don't know where you are?...where to run?...what to choose?...
One can be so helpless...and hopeless...in the middle of an unknown city.
It's like being born at age 30, or speaking japanese in the middle of antartica...or not.
He didn't know where to go...so he just followed his feet..he walked in a straight line...for hours and hours..til there was no land...just water!!!!...and this....strooooooooong smell...a fishmarket by the river:fish and chips...and fishless chips... and chipless fish and homeless people.
"if I were a blind lesbian- he thought-I'd probably think this was the gate of heaven!!!!." hahahahahahaha...or if I were the father of Positivism....this could just be the perfect picture of "living in the gutter"...
But this was to him...the smell of...possibility...of... starting a new life in a new place and meeting new people...So he ran into the first guy he saw...and asked for a job.
He became,- twenty three minutes later- the fishmarket's fisherman's fishing assistant and was known from that very moment on as "the new guy".
He spent the first 48 hours catching fish- just like an american football player- And got a brand new record: 25 feet fish catch without dropping a live and slippery salmon...and also became the second best crab fighter in town...
"The new guy" has a future-his boss said later on...and gave him a little room at the fishmarket's fisherman's fishing place... a tiny little attic room, with a window so small..there was just enough space for the moon and a little star.
Suggested soundtrack: Yoko Kano's "Felt Tip Pen"
One can be so helpless...and hopeless...in the middle of an unknown city.
It's like being born at age 30, or speaking japanese in the middle of antartica...or not.
He didn't know where to go...so he just followed his feet..he walked in a straight line...for hours and hours..til there was no land...just water!!!!...and this....strooooooooong smell...a fishmarket by the river:fish and chips...and fishless chips... and chipless fish and homeless people.
"if I were a blind lesbian- he thought-I'd probably think this was the gate of heaven!!!!." hahahahahahaha...or if I were the father of Positivism....this could just be the perfect picture of "living in the gutter"...
But this was to him...the smell of...possibility...of... starting a new life in a new place and meeting new people...So he ran into the first guy he saw...and asked for a job.
He became,- twenty three minutes later- the fishmarket's fisherman's fishing assistant and was known from that very moment on as "the new guy".
He spent the first 48 hours catching fish- just like an american football player- And got a brand new record: 25 feet fish catch without dropping a live and slippery salmon...and also became the second best crab fighter in town...
"The new guy" has a future-his boss said later on...and gave him a little room at the fishmarket's fisherman's fishing place... a tiny little attic room, with a window so small..there was just enough space for the moon and a little star.
Suggested soundtrack: Yoko Kano's "Felt Tip Pen"
Friday 14 May 2010
Chapter Six: Run, Baby, Run.
" I was taking off her clothes...at last. Her skin was full of brown
constellations...I could become an astronaut and kiss each and every single
birthmark...
....hmmmm...that skin parade just made me feel so...excited.
"...just wanted to become one...to be as closer as I could... but something
was wrong... my body wasn't reacting in the right way...I looked all the way
down and thought...
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"...
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"...- I heard an echo....a non familiar voice was
just repeating my words louder!!!!!
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!""Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"
...when I opened up my eyes...there was this Dick headed cop from
from London...just telling me I could leave jail at that very moment. Phew!!!!!
"Thank God that was just a dream!!!!!" hahahahahaha....I was just
questioning if I was no longer a "manly man"!!!!!
As he walked out of jail he felt relieved but at the same time...he had
nowhere to go, so...
Suggested soundtrack: Tom Petty's Into the great wide open.
constellations...I could become an astronaut and kiss each and every single
birthmark...
....hmmmm...that skin parade just made me feel so...excited.
"...just wanted to become one...to be as closer as I could... but something
was wrong... my body wasn't reacting in the right way...I looked all the way
down and thought...
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"...
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"...- I heard an echo....a non familiar voice was
just repeating my words louder!!!!!
"Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!""Hey, wake up, buddy!!!!!!"
...when I opened up my eyes...there was this Dick headed cop from
from London...just telling me I could leave jail at that very moment. Phew!!!!!
"Thank God that was just a dream!!!!!" hahahahahaha....I was just
questioning if I was no longer a "manly man"!!!!!
As he walked out of jail he felt relieved but at the same time...he had
nowhere to go, so...
Suggested soundtrack: Tom Petty's Into the great wide open.
Thursday 13 May 2010
Chapter Five: Jail makes you a deeper thinker.
"...I was there alone...no lights inside...just the sound of sirens from
time to time...and the moon showing through the stripes in the pattern of
çthe cell window...never felt so alone...a stranger in a strange land.
"..why am I thinking about how's my mom doing right now???" - he said to
himself.
"..we think so much when we're alone...so much time...no chance to cheat on
ourselves...just time and a mirror showing the naked soul...what we're
really made of...our fears...limitations...the past we carry...and our silly
hopes."
"I wish I had someone to talk to...hate being with myself...alone. Hate
overthinking things. Like to keep it simple..but can't sleep now...time's
going so slow...wish I were with a nice girl...better..wish I were with THE
GIRL...think never been even closer to that...wish I could look into those
pretty eyes for hours...and get my fingers trapped in her curls...in
silence. No words,... just the peaceful thought of knowing there's no better
place than her."
"...but shit...no...I'm just here...alone in a cell..."
Suggested soundtrack: Elvis singing " are you lonesome tonight? ".
time to time...and the moon showing through the stripes in the pattern of
çthe cell window...never felt so alone...a stranger in a strange land.
"..why am I thinking about how's my mom doing right now???" - he said to
himself.
"..we think so much when we're alone...so much time...no chance to cheat on
ourselves...just time and a mirror showing the naked soul...what we're
really made of...our fears...limitations...the past we carry...and our silly
hopes."
"I wish I had someone to talk to...hate being with myself...alone. Hate
overthinking things. Like to keep it simple..but can't sleep now...time's
going so slow...wish I were with a nice girl...better..wish I were with THE
GIRL...think never been even closer to that...wish I could look into those
pretty eyes for hours...and get my fingers trapped in her curls...in
silence. No words,... just the peaceful thought of knowing there's no better
place than her."
"...but shit...no...I'm just here...alone in a cell..."
Suggested soundtrack: Elvis singing " are you lonesome tonight? ".
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